December 13, 2024
By: Farah Abaza
What If Loving Yourself Was the Best Makeover You Could Ever Have?
Have you ever been in a place in your life where you didn’t like who you saw looking back at you in the mirror? Ever wondered what you’d look like with just a few tweaks here and there? Ever felt like you’d look so much better with a flatter stomach or less back rolls or no acne?
I’m sure you’ve answered yes to at least one of these questions. Why? Because most of us women have faced criticism at least once in our lives. Whether it came from parents, family members, friends, or even a shitty ex-boyfriend. Having little to no awareness as young teenage girls, most of us have felt foreign in our bodies, whether you had a bit more fluff than your friends or were made fun of for being stick thin, no one knew what was actually going inside your beautiful head.
No one understood the struggle of entering a classroom and feeling so self-conscious that you wanted to hide in the bathroom all day, or preferred not eat in front of your friends because God forbid you eat lunch or enjoy a snack, you should be starving yourself to fit in and be like your classmates, right?
It's so sad to have felt judged for how you look no matter what you did. Ate too much? Then you’re labelled as fat and unattractive. Ate too little? Why are you starving yourself? It's so unhealthy. Even simple pleasures like enjoying certain sports, you’re either called manly if you rank in swimming or a slut for twirling in gymnastics. We’re just never enough, no matter what you do, we’ll never be enough for them…but fuck this. Why are we defined by food, or how we dress or even how we enjoy our free time?
Personally, it took me 23 years to get the help I needed to try and fix my relationship with food. To not look in the mirror and hate what I saw. To feel a little bit more confident walking around in a cute outfit. To actually believe that I was loved and wanted for more than what I looked like. I’ve been told all my life that I have to act, look and present myself in a certain way to be liked by others. But why would I care? Of course, we all want to be liked and wanted, but is it really worth not being yourself? Not being who you want to be. Who you imagined you’d be when you were younger.
For so long my only birthday wish has always been for me to lose weight. I’ve always thought that once I lost the weight I wanted to lose, my life would be perfect. I’d have the best of friends, be in the healthiest relationship, and be on top of the world. But do you know what actually happened when I started losing weight? My mind played more tricks on me. What I lost was suddenly not enough. I still hated how I looked, simply because the weight was not the problem. It was all about self-love. I had none let me tell you. Loving me was so hard, nothing I was doing was enough.
A step forward for me was to focus on taking care of me, with the sole purpose not being to lose the weight, but to have a healthier body that takes care of me, to utilize my time doing what I love, cooking fresh meals for myself that not only fuel my body but also taste bomb. I’ve gotten to try out different types of movement to strengthen my body and help me be stronger day by day. Step by step I’m rebuilding my love for myself. Doing things solely and selfishly for me, with no goals to please others.
I believe every woman needs to put herself first in every regard, whether by taking care of your body physically, or by seeking help to repair your broken bits. We all could be doing more for ourselves; the most important thing however is that we keep trying. To show up for yourself is the best version of self-love. No more putting yourself second, you should always come first babe.